Disgruntled Is She ???
Jaime wrote a wonderfully long post how she's disgruntled at the cafe "ministry" where we volunteer at our church. I am equally disgruntled, but I also have to do cheesy Christmas music for four services this weekend. The music is so difficult, and yet so poorly written that I have an extremely high level of anxiety on this one. I even had anxiety dreams last night, I don't even know when the last time I had an anxiety dream was, but here I am having them last night.
You would think that I had learned my lesson the last time I did something like this. It was for a praise and worship night they called "Rain" and it was all gospel music. Not like Aretha gospel, not even like Kirk Franklin gospel it was just bad cheesy white-people-tryin-to-be-black gospel, blah...That was the one when the worship leader said it was going to be kinda funky, and I said, "Oooh, like George Clinton and the P-Funk funky?" After staring at me for a significant amount of time..."No, not that funky." "Oh.."
So this time when he called and asked if I would be willing to play acoustic for the Christmas Musical (which isn't technically a musical, it's just a bunch of Christmas music trying to make the impression of a neutral environment so they can then switcheroo to the gospel message) you would think...He's smart, he's getting his masters, a Phd. he'll say no...but I said yes. So now I had one week to learn these horribly bad songs with four key changes (because key changes are emotive, so four key changes are really emotive).
Oh, and then there's the really bad spoken segues, that when I was listening to the CD they gave me, I thought, At least they won't have that crap...Wrong again! So not only do I have to deal with my church selling its soul in the cafe. I also have to deal with the crappy music that is going on this weekend. And there is nothing worse than having to play difficult music that you don't like; the effort to reward relationship is way too low.
P.S. I really wish I could do those links so you could get snipets of how bad this stuff is, but it's a Christian album and a set program, so they've got a copyright on everything there and you can't even get lyric sheets without paying an arm and a leg for them....
6 comments:
"Gospel switcheroo" in church?!? How dare they!
(That was mocking you if you couldn't tell.)
It's not that they're giving the gospel at church, but that they billed it last week as a non-threatening neuteral event to invite your friends to...then, BAM!! you sinner, you need to repent!
I seriously hate church music...and I know that is strong wording, but I really do hate it....and when it is badly done, it's even worse....but then I'm a contemplative and would be content with a little Gregorian chant, and then silence for the rest of the service.
I don't like the 'sneeky' gospel thing either. I was saying to my friend Kev that I wish church people didn't act like they were on commission. Like they get a little bonus if they convert people, because it compels them to be invasive, and not loving.
You guys need to just admit it: deep down inside, you're calvinist (conflicted calvinists, that is) presbyterians who like worshiping in funky vintage old churches in a decidedly non-cheesy manner whilst ministering to the inner city (as much as that exists) poor and NOT pretending to be Starbucks, a black gospel choir, or all of the above.
P.S. I agree about christmas music. I had to play it last night at our church, and all the quick and formal chord changes freak me out, but if you don't play them it really loses a lot in translation. So you play them, and it's nerve-wracking.
And faith - (whoever you are) - I think you should be a Quaker
Mr. Grouse...you are the other Ben no?
I do love the Quakers as far as community goes and their care of the poor, they have a handle on it for being protestant, my theology however leans towards Eastern Orthodox, but I am far too socially and politically liberal to really enjoy either denomination.
ps - I LOVED that pic on your blog of Jaime and Ben!!
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