I was Evangelized!!!

Yes, my dear readers, I was evangelized for your sake. In a desperate attempt for material to write about (that's right--it's all for you) I sat down by one of the open air preachers this week. I know most of you would not require such sacrifices, I know you'd be crying out, "STOP! Write about your cute kids instead! For the love of all that is holy! This isn't necessary!" And I must admit it wasn't all for the sake of my meager readership. Part of the reason I decided to sit down was because one of my Jewish friends had walked by earlier on her way to our Hebrew class and was accosted by one of our classmates. Aparently, the preacher was his pastor. (You ever get one of those bad vibes about somebody the first time you see them and you don't know exactly why, except you decide to stay far away from them...that was this guy...and now I know why I got the bad vibes.)

Anyway, since the preacher guy had totally offended my friend she barraged me with a ton of questions about Christianity and what Jesus taught, so I thought I should go listen to the guy. And as street preachers go, he was offensive, but he ain't no Brother Jed. Brother Jed has his daughters walk around with signs reading "Faggots burn in Hell," (get it--faggots...burn...) "Jesus is your Judge," and other friendly, loving things to say. This guy just stood there and shouted at people all day. . . amateur.

One thing he did bring with him was his own team of crowd minglers. They would walk the crowd and ask people what they thought of the guy, what he was saying, etc. Eventually, they would get to the point of asking if you knew Jesus as your "Personal Lord and Savior." If you said you were a Christian, as I did twice, they would ask if you could pin point a date, an exact moment when you became a Christian. Seeing where the conversation was headed I said, "yes,"and pointed to my adult baptism when I was 19. (I really wasn't in the mood to point out to the people that praying to receive Christ as your personal savior is not really a biblical idea. The magic get out of hell prayer isn't what salvation is about, that salvation is a life lived for God, serving Him with what you do for others, not your belief and words.)

For the guy that is in my class (let's call him J), the conversation was a little less strange than the first fellow, since I had a little bit of familiarity with the man, but it ended with the following conversation, which I had to share:

J: So, Ben, what's your major?
Me: Jewish Studies
J: With a confused look on his face, starts to open mouth to ask, "Why is a Christian majoring in Jewish Studies"
B Seeking to avoid said question: What's yours, J?
J: Hebrew.
B: Why are you majoring in Hebrew?
J: I feel like I know the New Testament pretty well and I wanted to study the Old Testament. I'll be going to get my M. Div when I graduate, so I thought I should take something that will keep my interest and be useful.
B: You know, J, If you don't know the Old Testament, I guarantee you don't really know the New Testament at all.
J: Confused look on his face
B: Well, it was good talking to you! I gotta go catch my bus! See ya in class tomorrow.

To J's credit, he still had the guts to invite me to his Church's student group that meets on campus. I did the polite, "I'll think about it (i.e. no thanks)" answer. And got out of there with my life intact.

It could have been worse, really. But I've already been told I'm going to hell and have AIDS--what else can they do to me? Really if you're have a terminal illness and you're going to hell, there's only one thing worse--becoming a psychotically judgmental street preacher.

I really hope my current writer's block will end soon, because I really don't want to become that.

Spring Smack Down on the Oval

I forgot about one more sign of Spring at OSU. Elections for the Union of Student Government (i.e. glorified student council). The USG makes for fierce headlines in the school paper as mud is slung between opposing candidates...for student council president. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure the USG accomplishes some big and important...stuff. I'm just not sure how and I fail to see that winning is so important as to justify yelling and accusing people of doing stupid things. It's college! Who doesn't do stupid things!?!

There is one good thing about all this campaigning. It's not the colorful and cute ways that the candidates use their names in chalk drawings on the sidewalks. It's not the trees being wasted on the thousands of fliers being passed out to every person who breathes and steps foot on the oval. It's not that it's windy and kinda chilly and almost raining and the campaigners are out on the oval in their color coordinated t-shirts freezing their butts off (though that is a close second). It's that today they had to share space on the oval with Brother Jed.

I don't know who was more annoying: Brother Jed yelling at me and everyone else (including the cold campaigners) that we're on the fast train to Hell, or the campaigners yelling back at him that he was ruining their campaigning. Both were actually equally amusing, and if it had been warmer I might've stuck around to see who won. My money was on the students, especially since I saw one of them on their cell phone (a tool of the devil, according to Brother Jed) to call the campus cops...I should've stayed for that one.

Signs of an OSU Spring

Yes, spring is in the air! The robins are singing, birds are making nests in the trees, the trees are budding and we actually had our first real day where it was too hot to wear my coat. But these are your normal everyday signs of spring. At Ohio State, we have a few extra signs of spring:

1) The half naked overly fit twenty-somethings running around the oval

2) The half crazed overly angry fundamentalists standing on the oval telling people they have AIDS and are going to Hell.

And yes, these signs of spring have already reared their ugly heads this year. Since I have to cross the oval several times this quarter, I'm sure that it will be the source of many amuzing anecdotes of sex and condemnation. I can't wait to share.

Adventures on the Oval, Episode 1

One of the great things about going to school at Ohio State is all the crazies that seem to find their way onto the oval. . . I mean the wonderful diversity that a fine public institution allows. People wanting you to sign various petitions, Brother Jed and other various fire and brimstone preachers damning everyone to hell. Really almost anything you can think of people arguing about finds it way to the Oval.




This means that whenever the weather is even remotely nice, if you have to cross the oval, you get to play cat and mouse with the various groups (one of my favorite past times!). The various crazy experiences can make for some good stories so I'm beginning a series posted only as consistently as they happen about my adventures on the Oval. ENJOY!

The other day they had EVERYBODY out there. Some fire and brimstone guys and a couple of student groups. I scout out their positions and chart my path I realize I have only two options...

1)Walk by the fire and brimstone guys

OR

2) Walk by the recycling guys.

Easy choice right? Walk by the recycling guys. WRONG. Apparently nestled in with the recycling group was another "sex education, women's rights" group which I didn't see at all. Do I get a flyer discussing the great benefits of recycling? No! Do I get offered a free condom? YES! To top it all off I still had to pass a cleverly disguised (i.e. he didn't have a big 5ft x 10ft sign) fire and brimstone guy....who told me I have AIDS.

I'm sure nothing like that could happen to me at Wheaton. Do I really want to go there and miss being offered a free condom and told I have AIDS on the same day?