Thoughts On Various Profound and Unprofound Topics

Jesus never publicly declared who he was, and never gave any direct formulaic argument on his relation to God, or other apologetic discourse. Instead he said that his actions told who he was and all his teachings had to do with how we treat other people. Therefore, if we try to convince people with apologetics, or try to make a case for Christ, etc are we committing a sin? We aren't following the example of Jesus who we're supposed to be imitating nor following his teaching of letting our good works be seen by men that they might glorify our father in heaven. I find it interesting that we use the teaching of salt and light, being a city on a hill and those other images to teach that we should be "witnesses." In reality, those teachings are purely ethical; they were meant to encourage us to righteousness (deeds) not formulaic arguments on who Christ is or the four spiritual laws as a way to eternal life.

I'm growing increasingly uncomfortable with the label of Christian for myself. There's just too much baggage with it (both personally and within society). So I offer the new non-threatening label: Puppy Pals of Jesus... of course, if your allergic to dogs that might have it's own baggage.
Seriously, as far as labels go here's my new one for me: Existential Christ Following Humanist.

The first season of 24 has too many plot holes, are they covered in the next season or just dropped? If they just leave them, I don't know if I really like the show, too sloppily written...also too many camera men were seen on camera, aren't they supposed to be behind the camera?

Do people make gay jokes because they're uncomfortable with their own sexuality? Is it really that scary that you have to demean the people by making them a by-word for something bad? That's so hetero!

Brice, you should just give up on MSN and start over on blogspot. Come to the new evil empire: Google! I use their search engine, blog, calendar and e-mail. I no longer have a soul, but I'm very organized (not to mention addicted to Google Earth).

A Cheap Attempt at Hits

This is Aviv:

She's a friend of mine in the Hebrew department about to get her 15 minutes of fame. She's one of the stars of the new MTV show Fresh Meat Challenge. I'm one of those sick people trying to ride on her coattails. So let me say this again: Aviv on the New MTV show Fresh Meat Challenge.

The sad irony is that, not only do I not have cable, I don't even have a TV, so I will not be able to watch Aviv on MTV's Fresh Meat Challenge. I think she needs to have a weekly party so that we can watch her do her thing on the Fresh Meat Challenge. I do have to say Aviv, who is staring in MTV's Fresh Meat Challenge, is a pretty cool person, and I'm sure she did great. She's got Israeli military experience, a can-do attitude and is a wonderful person that everyone gets along with.

It's actually kinda' funny, one of the freshmen in the department is a reality tv show junkie and is just soaking up this whole TV Star thing. But Aviv, to her credit, really isn't acting all big headed, and she's holding on to her knowledge about the show, Fresh Meat Challenge, pretty darn tight. She's not saying a word, not a single word. . . .um......So, I guess that's it...if anyone can watch it, and give her your support, that would be cool!

I have no shame so I'm going to say it all again just to make sure my blog shows up prominently in the google search: Aviv, Fresh Meat Challenge, FreshMeat Challenge, Aviv, mtv, Real World / Road Rules Challenge : Fresh Meat, Australia, Aviv, Cast of Fresh Meat Challenge.

Yes, no shame at all.

Sociology Without a License

Wow! 6 days without a post! You might think this means I have a life. But no, my friends, no; it’s just the end of the quarter. This means I have three papers due all at the same time and two finals to get ready for, which means no life for me and no time to post. Actually, as I’m writing this, I am skipping my Prophets class, but that’s not so bad because I’m just auditing it. But anyway, I’m glad this quarter is almost done.

Of course, it’s not like I’ve actually been doing any school work either. I’ve been dutifully procrastinating with Muppet movies, Lord of the Rings and reading books that are unrelated to school. I’ve discovered that ignoring your school work doesn’t make it any easier the night before it’s due, and the resulting depression just makes things even worse.

But through this procrastination I have made some interesting sociological insights into my family.

1. Evie cannot comprehend Muppets. (Heck, she can’t even say Muppets. She keeps talking about Muffins.) She was introduced to the Muppets via the Great Muppet Caper. We were at a Hebrew class party at Jessica’s house and, being good parents, we were downstairs playing Trivial Pursuit while she was upstairs watching a DVD by herself. Well, not really by herself, because she kept yelling downstairs “I need you!” and one of us (actually mostly Jessica) would run upstairs to support her in her Muffin watching. During one of these “I need you times” we had a touching father-daughter talk about Muppets.

Evie – “I scared.”
Me – “They can’t get hurt. They’re just puppets.
Evie – “No, them like cartoons, but them real . . .
Me – “No, they’re puppets; people’s hands are inside moving them—like this (insert very well done impression of moving a puppet)
Evie – “But I can see all of them. I can see them legs.”
Me – “Well, they’re puppets, they’re not real, so you don’t have to be scared.

(Here’s where I can’t explain something so, after a little more comfort time, I just pat her leg and walk away. How can you see all of them move anyway? Jim Henson, that evil wizard!)


2. Moira doesn’t like Muppets. Something deep in the core of her being says that talking animals are weird, just weird. She was close to being won over by Miss Piggy’s synchronized swimming scene. And she was sucked in by the escape from jail and showdown with the bad guys stealing the Great Baseball Diamond. But still there are lingering doubts. She just needs time.


3. Although Jaime likes Muppets, she does not like Fantasy. No one should ever watch a fantasy movie with Jaime. Perhaps she was scarred by her obsession with fantasy and science fiction in her early years, I don’t know, but I do know that watching Lord of the Rings with her was NOT fun. Some comments included “This is so stupid--It’s just a ring, people!” “Why can’t wizards fly? What’s the point of being a wizard if you can’t fly?” “I thought elves were little. Aren’t elves supposed to be little?” “This movie is so racist. All the “good” people are white and all the evil things are dark skinned. What is this—some sort of Nazi propaganda? Aryans conquering the evil less than human indigenous monsters who would take over the world if we don’t stop them?!?” (Actually, I was starting to think the same thing before she said that. I was a little worried that we were on the same wavelength.)
She basically talked through the whole thing. Now we have the next two of the trilogy and I think I’ll tie her up and gag her. (And, yes, this is the FIRST time we have seen Lord of the Rings. This is also due to Jaime and her everyone-else-is-doing-it-so-why-should-I attitude. This is usually something I love about her, but when I want to watch a movie, it gets annoying.)


Wow, after all that I just realized that when I’ve run out of movies and books to procrastinate with, I can always write an overly long, pointless post for my blog. Life is good.

Charlton Heston Was On My Exam

The last post is not the best thing in the world to leave up for so long, but I've been too busy to worry about it. Graduate School applications, Fellowship applications, Teaching Associate applications, job applications and midterms.

Ah, the joys of midterms. In my history of Hebrew class we had a take home exam. When I found this out at the beginning of the quarter, I was pretty excited. What could be easier than a take home exam? Then I saw the first question. Here are the exact instructions:

Exhaust me by thoroughly discussing everything you know about the following words:

Let me just say there is nothing more nerve wracking than that kind of open ended question on an exam. If I'm exhausted by writing the essay, does that mean that the professor will be exhausted when he reads it? If you've never met this man, he's the kind of guy that couldn't be exhausted by anything. I haven't found one thing he's not excited about. This means that he's really great to be around, but it also means that if he's using his exhaustion to gauge the quality of those essays, I just hope he's reading them at 3 am . . . on a treadmill.

And, once again, I get to lament my geekiness, because although the exam took all weekend to complete, I actually ended up enjoying it.

My favorite part--analyzing the Hebrew on the stone tablets for the movie, The Ten Commandments. Yes, that is real Hebrew. Charlton Heston--who incidentally played every ancient Jewish character in the movies of the 1960's--was actually carrying fake stone tablets with authentic ancient Hebrew on it. Well, not that authentic--the script was a few hundred years off. Fools.

Being Old Can Kill You

This morning I heard this news blurb on NPR. Yes, NPR that bastion of intelligent journalism.

"Al Lewis best known for his portrayal of Grandpa in the television show the Munsters has died. He was 95. No cause of death has been reported."

No cause of death has been reported. Hello!! He was 95--swallowing too hard could have been the cause of death. Actually, when you get that old there's just one cause of death--old age. Even if you get hit by a truck--the cause--old age, couldn't get out of the way fast enough.

Old age is deadly and the sooner the news media recognizes this, well, I don't know what will happen, but at least I won't be wasting my time ranting about it.

Oh The Places You'll Go!

Being a starving student trying to support a family of four on grants, scholarships and school loans means that sometimes you just can't travel. Okay always you just can't travel. The car is in good enough shape to take you around town but that's about it. At the end of every quarter, you start wondering where all the money went and if you'll be able to pay rent on time (so far so good!). Which means that while you may want to take the family to visit India, Australia, Europe heck even Canada it just can't be done.

But my family doesn't complain about not being able to travel. No, we travel vicariously....Through travel shows. It's true I don't have a TV, but I can play DVD's on my computer and we have become hooked on this series called Globe Trekker. With the aid and expertise of professional travelers we have seen the world! Heck, now I don't need to go to India and suffer from Dehli Belly! My friend Megan did it for me! Want to be bored in the "fabulous" wine country of France? Don't bother, Justine's been there and she'll tell you all about it! Why mess with the hot sticky deserts (not to mention all that poisonous stuff) of Australia's outback when Ian and friends have experienced it for you, and you don't have to leave the comfort of your own home.

Really, it's better than actually being there! It's cheaper (you can get it for free from your local library), you don't have to worry about plane crashes, custom officials and spending way too much money for cheap touristy gifts for your friends and family! Yes, I'd say it's the way to go! The travel of the future!....Really!....Okay, I'm lying I'd much rather be there, but hey I can't yet, so this will have to do!

So here's a little intro to our favorite trekkers. They've become like members of our family all due to my inadequacy as a bread winner.


Ian Wright: With his cockney accent, willingness to do anything and love of harrasing strangers he's one entertaining chap.

Favorite Moment: Australia: When he pats the stomach (for just a little too long to be okay) of the Outback Ranger who took away his fruit contraband.

Quote: "I wish I had a lava burn mark on my arm to boast about in the pub."



Justine Shapiro: She has raised grumbling to an art form. And sometimes the crass things that come out of her mouth are amazing. She doesn't mock someone in every episode, but when she does it's quite a treat.

Favorite Moment: Turkey: When she's about to take a drink from a bucket full of fresh sheep's milk and realizes it has poo in it. "MMMmmmMMM"

Quote: "I'VE LANDED!" (Cheerfully jumping on one of the D-Day beaches in Normandy, France.)




Megan McCormick: The consummate traveler--a real professional. Never whines, always enthusiastic--perhaps too perky at times but that's usually when the show gives her enough money to sleep somewhere without cockroaches--so who can blame her.

Favorite Moment: Beijing: When she tours a warehouse full of art and asks the artist why all his characters are always smiling. "....Because they're happy."

Quote: "I promise I won't look up your kilt."