Dilemma
I attend a rather main stream evangelical church. It's Wesleyan, which I like because of its emphasis on free will and other stuff. That being said there's so much that I believe from my studies in Judaism and the Bible that I know they wouldn't agree with yet. But I love the people there. They're so friendly and open and have that simple faith in God, that I wish I had sometimes, but seems to be impossible to get the more I study and learn.
Anyway, because of this, I find myself increasingly in conversations where the person is talking about something that I totally disagree with, and I find myself with a dilemma. Do I say something or not? By saying nothing, the person assumes I agree with them, but by saying something I risk hurting the person I'm talking to, or even talking over their head on something that is to me trivial, but to them very important. If I value their friendship, shouldn't I be completely honest with them? By not saying anything I feel like I'm lying to them by not being who I truly am. How do I be completely honest with them and not "blow them away"?
*sigh* I really have to figure this out if I'm going to be effective in what I want to do in life. I'll be in these positions for the rest of my life, so I can't run from them. I need some wisdom here folks! Please Help!
2 comments:
oh my!
I feel the same almost constantly! My training is in Spiritual direction, and our main purpose is to listen and to ask questions so that the person who we are directing can come to the conclusions themselves. It's not easy, I find it easier for me to just say what I think, but often when I do that I take away the 'voice' (if you will) of the person who is talking to me and they shut down and don't want to talk anymore. When I ask questions however, related to what they are saying it causes them to chew the ideas more...they may not have the answers at the time, but they will think of it later and slowly see another side to the issue.
Doing this you will preserve their 'voice' and it makes you look interested in them (which hopefully you really are) and doesn't make you come across as a 'know it all'. Don't get me wrong...I have not mastered this, even though I know it works...it's still hard for me to do.
What do you want to do Ben? Maybe you have already mentioned this, and I just haven't read it?
I think the question approach is not a bad idea. It's so simple, it just might work! I'll have to try it next time.
I haven't really said what I want to do, but my ultimate goal is to infuse within Christianity a Jewish mindset that I think was lost long ago (i.e. pre-Nicea). Needless to say there's a lot that goes into that. It'll all probably come out as I write more here.
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