I Need Help...
Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm a coffee addict...
It's um...about 10 am in the morning and I'm working on my 6th cup of coffee. I've been up since 7am, but I didn't have time to get coffee at home so I've been drinking coffee since 8.30 making for an average of...a lot of cups an hour...I'm not joking...it's sad really. I'm just sitting here at work, reading books surfing the net and drinking coffee. I keep telling myself I can quit whenever I want, it's not a big deal...I mean come on I buy Fairtrade coffee...I'm a good person...It's not like I'm hurting anyone. Come on man, GIVE ME A BREAK!!! I'm sorry...I didn't mean that really ...sigh...I'm...so...sorry....But look It'snotlikethecaffienehasanysortofeffectonmeanymoreitsjustlikewatertomysystem ....And I drink it black too, that's got to count for something. None of that diabetes causin' sugar crap or milk...I mean have you ever drunk like 3 cups of coffee with cream in an hour...that stuff messes you up, sits in your stomach like concrete...it's horrible...Black's easier for other people too..."How do you take your coffee?""Black." If I said with cream and/or sugar, then you have the added anxiety of how much cream, how much sugar, did I make it too light, too dark, too sweet, no I don't have cream, but I have milk is that ok, I'm sorry I just have sugar, I don't have any Splenda. Can you see the added stress brought on by all you non-black-coffee-bastardizing-people-out-there-do-you-DO-YOU!!??!! Damn...I did it again...sorry...it's just that, I'm used to more coffee and I'm getting all jittery and and and...stuff...I need another cup...I'll be right back....
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5 comments:
You are one sick puppy. But I can't support you if you decide to quit drinking coffee. That would mean I would ALWAYS have to make my own coffee and that would be intolerable. If you'd like to quit but continue making my coffee, we could talk about that.
And I obviously disagree about the milk in the coffee thing. Caffeine robs the body of calcium, therefore my half a cup of milk in my mug prior to addition of coffee is saving me from the horrors of osteoperosis. And using that much milk requires very strong coffee to offset it and that means using more ground coffee which means more support for the fair trade growers in Guatemala AND America's powerful dairy industry. WHAT could be more perfect than that?
Oh, and I like your new monkey.
ROTFL!!!
I'm a black coffee drinker most of the time, unless I can get my hands on some soy cream then I take that, but the stuff is really expensive. I managed to cut myself down to 2 cups a day (from about 10)...drink responsably my friend.
I blame Dad. Our constant access to soda has created an unnatural tolerance to caffine. I'm at the point where I need caffine at times to sleep.
wwwhhhhattt? mmmmeeee nerrrvouuusss?
who s-s-said that?
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