The Family

With my brother Ben having joined the fray here at Luther's Monkey, it is time for me to lay out the schematics of my family.

Ben is the only one of my siblings that needs to be explained as my step-brother (either that or I was such an SOB the parents wanted to try for a different Ben--which, if you know my violent past, is a possibility) but in my family there's no such thing as a step-sibling. We all call each other brothers and sisters except when it gets to the two Ben's. That's when everything falls apart.

To help clear up the confusion the family tacked on the initial of our last names. I was Ben I, and he was Ben K. This was fine for everyone else, but Ben and I really weren't too keen on this idea. I argued nobly that I was the older Ben so I should get first dibs on being just plain Ben and he should be Ben K. I forget exactly Ben's argument but I'm sure it was something horribly nefarious. Either way, it was a draw and the initials stood. (Although, frankly, Ben The Other--as he's been calling himself in the comments--is a pretty good designation--I wish I thought of that one).

There was the phase when all the kids were given nick-names (was it Jennifer who started that?) and I got the misnomer: Benign, and Ben received the worst of them all: Bengay. I can still remember the conversations trying to get him to buy into it. "It doesn't mean you're gay...it's like the medicine! You know...it's like saying your healing, helpful...Or it could mean gay in the happy sense! You're the happy Ben! Ok?" Needless to say this didn't go over too well.

Then came the summer when I was Big Ben and he was Little Ben. But he was already taller than me (most people are) and these names quickly fell by the wayside.

Anyway, I thought a break down of the family might be helpful to all those confused people who are not related to me--

The Siblings:
Jennifer, Brad, Sam, Ben, Ben (The Other), Anne, Mandy

• Jennifer, Sam and Ben (The Other) are my step-siblings
  
• Brad is my full brother from our mom's first marriage.
• Our mom and my step-siblings' dad got married and had Anne and Mandy.

The Next Generation:
Moira, Evie, Inga, Andrei, Alex, Elena and coming soon: Bulie!

• Jaime and I were the first to get married (when we were about 12 years old or something), and we had Moira and Evie
• Jennifer then got married to Dan and adopted Inga, Andrei, Alex and Elena (all in the span of about 5 minutes--or so it seemed).
• Ben (The Other) met and married the charming Irish lass Julie and they are now expecting their first child who, as of right now, prefers to go by Bulie.
  

When you add in Anne and Mandy's boyfriends (Ben and Tim, respectively--yes another Ben with the same middle name as Ben K.) needless to say, keeping things straight during family get togethers can be pretty crazy. Fun...but crazy.

Everyone is probably more confused than ever, but that's really the best I can do.