It's Here!!!

I know you were all holding your breath in anticipation, but I've finally received my notebook from dell. This means that I can do all sorts of productive things while I'm on campus and can get into a work regimen. Of course that hasn't happened yet, but I'm sure it will. If it doesn't, I'm afraid I'll never get anywork done. I love being home and doing work there, but you just don't feel up to it when you hear your kids playing, dancing and singing...like they're doing right now...Obviously I'm busy working on my German...okay, maybe not but I should be. So I'm leaving now....

Happy Rosh HaShanah!

This is the beginning of the days of awe in the Jewish calendar ending with one of the holiest days of the Jewish calendar, Yom Kippur. These are days of introspection, repentance and reconciliation with God and man. Check out this link for more information!

I'm Back!

Okay, being on campus without a job, means that I have no access to a computer. The other day, I visited 4 or 5 computer labs all of which were on hold for classes or had lines to use a computer. How horrible is that?

It doesn't help that they've officially closed down the library for a few years in order to remodel it, taking away all of its computers and not really replacing them anywhere. They've moved most of the books to a temporary place (read huge warehouse) about 2 miles off campus which is a bit inconvenient! As my experience today points out, it's not really ready to be used yet. I needed an article to translate for my German class, so I found one that the library was supposed to have, I road my bus to campus, took the new OSU bus to the library off campus only to find that the article was bust. It was there, but not really what I needed. No problem, right? I had three or four other possibilities, but I hadn't found their call numbers at home, because I thought that they would at least have computers there to access their catalogue....Nope! No catalogue, no desks to sit at to read/peruse/preview your books. A good 20% or so of the books weren't even on the shelves yet; they were still in the huge boxes they used to move everything. The only way I was able to find my new book, was to stop one of the guys shelving books and ask if he could find the call numbers. He kindly did and I was able to leave therewith my book, all good, but I can tell these next two years are gonna be a challenge with the library not right on campus...oh well.

Oh and yesterday our computer's power supply crapped out and I had to go to the store three times (because of my own foolishness, but annoying none the less) in order to get it fixed. And there's no real theme to this post except to possibly offer various excuses as to why I just spent a lot of money on a new laptop...bye!

Response to Anne on Jesus Camp

Okay, the third time I tried writing this. Anne Marie said this. To which Jaime brilliantly replied this. In response to an up coming documentary called Jesus Camp.


So what's my take? I find that stuff scary, repulsive and...scary. I feel so bad for those kids, they're growing up learning to hate other religious traditions, to see that confrontation not dialogue is love and to see time as running out so patience is not a virtue anymore, especially when it comes to people's souls. This is so the opposite of what I want my girls to grow up with, and it's part of the anxiety I have with our current main stream evangelical church. They don't talk in the rhetoric that is seen in the clips from the video, if they did I would run for the hills, but they do constantly push "making a choice for Jesus..." getting your friends to "make a choice for Jesus..." and all that other evangelistic rhetoric that I'm very uncomfortable with.

We often find ourselves correcting certain aspects of the church's teaching, and one of my greatest fears is that she grows up to be like them (as in sign on their dotted theological line). So why do we go there? They fit a need that we had when we left our old church. They were huge so you could get lost if you wanted to, but they also had lots of kids for our girls to play with, and they have so much fun. And even though I disagree with some of what the church teaches, I love the people. They are genuine in their belief and sincere in their love for other people, and if the church leaders would help facilitate it, they have the money, resources and desire to make a huge difference for the poor people on the west side of Columbus

For our kids, I want them to grow up and love all people regardless of their religion, etc. I want them to respect all forms of spirituality that are positive and acknowledge those forms that are negative. I would love for them to grow up directly following the teachings of Christ, but if they grow up and choose a different tradition, I hope they continue caring for the poor and needy, fighting injustice and loving and respecting all people. That's my main goal for them. I don't have verses(sorry Jaime!) not because they don't exist, but I don't have the time or desire to find them.

Anne's post sparked a lot of other ideas which I'll write on later, but she wanted direct feedback on what we do/desire for our kids. So there you go.

P.S. I echo Jaime's apology for being a self-righteous bitch (maybe that doesn't work for me. Anne, just insert your own gender appropriate cuss word for me). I'm sorry I made you feel guilty, unable to speak your mind and disagree. I'm sorry for anything we've done that wasn't truly loving you, but seeking out a righteous image. NOW, we don't judge anything you do and part of why I am honest with you about so much of my questions is because I want to correct all that image, judgment, etc. Truly sorry.

Bush's Brilliant Rhetoric

"It's unacceptable to think there's any kind of comparison between the behavior of the United States of America and the action of Islamic extremists who kill innocent women and children to achieve an objective,"

Because we kill innocent women and children in the name of God and our self interest and they kill innocent women and children in the name of Allah and their self interest. See the difference: God vs. Allah totally different dieties...

My Evil Plan is Working Perfectly!!!

I have been given the opportunity of a life time. I have been trying to do less at church, so I can have the flexibility of not being there if I needed the weekend to do work or other important stuff...like hang out with friends. While I did get my stint at the cafe cut in half (every other week), I have some how ended up playing guitar (probably every week) and then last night one of the pastors approached me about putting together a four week introductory class on the Old Testament.

BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Now the challenge will be figuring out how to sneak in some liberal theology without anyone noticing....

Surreal Moment of the Week

Yesterday, my sole co-worker had to have been on something. He says he was just tired, but I bet it was something else. Here's why.

I was working the 9-6 shift at work (as opposed to the 8-5 shift) which meant that, because of bus schedules I got to work at 8.30...a little early. So I'm chillin' seeing if people happened to write anything since midnight the night before and his line starts ringing (we just got these new wireless phones at work that let you pick your ring tone and he chose Old McDonald). Imagine, if you will, a digitized melody of Old McDonald coming through the headset right into your ear and you would think that anyone would notice this. Not him; he's out with his head on the keyboard, drool, the whole nine yards. I wake him up and let him know that his phone is ringing, (by this time we're at the "and on his farm he had a pig" part) does he answer it? No! He picks up his mouse and looks at it like he's trying to answer his mouse instead of his phone (E-I-E-I-O).

"J, that's not your phone..."

He waves me off, (with an oink, oink here...) pushes the left mouse button, "Arts and Sciences Advising...." (phone still ringing "and an oink, oink there, here an oink...") Thinking they hung up on him, "Guess they didn't want to talk to me..." Head back down on his keyboard, he's back asleep (the ringer is now ending with a rousing "Old McDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O!"). I kid you not when I say something along these lines (hanging up on people, not answering the phone on time, etc) happened three to four times before our boss arrived at 10 to find him still out on his keyboard.

Fast forward to later in the afternoon...he's back asleep and his phone's ringing and he's not hearing it. "J. J! Your phone's ringing man." With all sincerity he says, "Damn, that's the first time that's ever happened to me." Wanting to ring his neck and mock him at the same time, I merely turn to the windows and think, "We're all the blanket..."

A Priest, a Minister and a Pastor walk into a bar

the Rabbi ducked.

My Own Antidote For Church Malaise

So I've been grumpy lately or as Jaime put it I'm " overly negative and not excited and in love with life." She said I needed to get over it and recomended Anne Lamott books. Just for the record, if someone is having problems with people dying from cancer way too young, Anne Lamott books are not a good idea (Jaime didn't know this specifically is what was getting me down, so don't be mad at her).

Instead, I found my answer to the "theodicy duldrums" in two movies we happened to see back to back preceded by a service at church all about faith in the midst of shit (the pastor obviously didn't use that language, that's mine). The first movie we saw was In America. OMG! What a great flick! Joy in the midst of suffering, hope even when scary things are happening and being able to let go of a dead/dying loved one. This one really hit the spot, we watched this Monday night and following up on the Church service on Saturday, had me feeling pretty good.



The second movie we watched was Big Fish. I've just gotta say, I love Tim Burton movies. I could totally relate to the son trying to figure out the truth behind the myths of his father. I don't know why this movie specifically helped with my current church malaise, but it did. Maybe just having an uplifting, sweet, quirky movie was all I needed to finally pull myself out of the last bit of my doldrums.




Anyway, both movies are highly recommended especially as medicine for Church Malaise, or Theodicy Duldrums. Honestly, I'm not any closer to the answers of those questions that caused the grumpiness in the first place, but I'm okay with it now and can move on and maybe look for better answers than the standard lines we've been fed...or maybe not I'm gonna be pretty busy over the next few years.

The Irony

I'm reading this book just for the irony:



Actually, I heard it's really good and a must read for anyone getting ready to do graduate work, so I'm hoping it'll help out. But I'm also really enjoying the irony right now....

Something I Learned About Myself Today

3 years after my mother died from cancer, I'm still not okay with it. I wish she were around to see all her grandkids, to see me in grad school to see the wonderful women that her two girls are becoming. I try to put her death in perspective, like it happened for a reason, but I fail to see it directly. I try to think of her in a better place or at the least not suffering anymore and the only thing that's driving these bouts of depression and missing her is my own selfishness so I should just get the hell over it and move on. Okay...fine.

But then I think that it was a hellish end of her life. Emaciated and in constant pain using all of her strength just to be lucid. Why did it have to be like that? But isn't that the way most people die? Even in its most beautiful circumstances Death is horribly ugly...it's scary...Maybe there is a lesson learned in the suffering of death and dying, perhaps it is the greatest lesson to be learned and we can't learn it until that time comes. Perhaps it is my own inability to suffer that drives this questioning and this pain and if I would just accept suffering as a part of life, then I would get better.

I guess that leads me to my current conclusion about the purpose of suffering and dying. Suffering has no purpose unless we give it one. That is, if the suffering that I go through because my mother died from cancer without being able to see her grandchildren grow up has no effect upon my life then it has no purpose. I have not given it any. However if it drives me to visibly change my life as a result of that suffering then it has a purpose, because I have instilled it with a purpose. Otherwise, I'm not sure I can find a reason for all the suffering around me right now.

Death, as far as I can tell, could have two possible reasons. The first is, as I mentioned above, that death is the ultimate suffering and must have some ultimate lesson behind it, if we allow it to have that effect. Second is that death is really the biggest reminder that we are not God. In the Genesis story the only difference between the Divine and Humanity is initially that people didn't know the difference between good and evil. Once that knowledge was gained, God decided that the new difference would be that people would now have to face death. So dying reminds us that we are not the Divine. Perhaps that is the lesson to be learned from it, perhaps it is something else...I don't know.

The Daily Show in Columbus!!

I just saw the good news! Can you believe it? The Daily show is going to be taping their shows for the week leading up to the midterm elections at OSU! YES! Guess who's already e-mailed requests for tickets? Hope I get 'em. I just need a picture of myself like Brad's.

Guess who already got an e-mail back saying they're not taking anymore requests? AAAARRGGHH!!!!

Books...

Jaime said that I'm being too curmudgeony and cranky lately. She thinks I'm being too overly negative and not excited and in love with life. I'm too picky. So now that I've read this little pamphlet in honor of my sister Anne Marie:


I'm about to follow Jaime's prescribed medicine for Church Malaise: A healthy dose of Anne Lamott:

What I Get Paid to Do...

Basically, I get paid to watch stuff like this...



or this...



And my new all time favorite...



also mixed in with some video games and reading of books...oh yeah, and I also answer the occassional phone call and schedule appointments for our accademic advisors...