Still Procrastinating
I'm depressed. I have too much to do and I don't want to do it. And to make matters worse, I discovered that I have RPD. Research Perfectionism Disorder.
If I'm researching something, I don't feel satisfied until I've completely exhausted all avenues of research. (Thus, the household tension regarding library books.) But for one paper I'm currently writing I haven't done a lot of research. I found out that there isn't much academic discussion on the topic I chose, so I don't have many sources. I've done sufficient research to write the paper but not sufficient research to satisfy my RPD.
It's a vicious cycle. I'm depressed because my paper won't be as in depth as I would like, so I procrastinate on writing it, which further ensures that it will be a rush job and a less than satisfying paper, thereby increasing my depression and creating more procrastination.
I'm depressed.
4 comments:
I'm going to make an interpretive leap here and guess that the paper in question is the one that you're preparing for our seminar in Rabbinic Literature. Allow me to point out some silver lining for you: the limited academic discussion means that you can put your research energy into grounded imaginative hypothesis (let's call this GIH, since we seem to be fond of acronyms this weekend). And if you happen to "go out on a limb" with your GIH, sobeit, because you will have many years here under the mentorship of Professor Swartz to refine your GIH, if you so choose. So, enough with the depression and the procrastination, and on with the mental party!
You're right, I've started writing the paper and now I'm on page 4 and just finished the introductory remarks. So things are looking up! The silver lining is there, three more days then the quarter is done, and I can move on! Yeah!
I used to get frustrated with procrastination untill I realized that I need that time when it seems like I'm not doing my assignment to actually chew through some thoughts on the assignment. Now I don't feel as guilty about not sitting at my comp all day...you will get it done, be persistant but not too hard on yourself
Baby, I believe in you!
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