Control Thyself

Moira is learning about the Civil Rights Movement in school. She came downstairs the other day and said "Did you know that Martin Luther King Jr. and E.D. Nixon weren't sure that the bus boycott would really happen?" My first thought was "E.D. who?" My second thought was "Oh, of course, E.D. Nixon, the head of the Montgomery branch of the NAACP at the time of Rosa Parks' arrest." Okay, I lied, but like you knew that either.

Anyway, one of the books she's reading is called Oh, Freedom! and it's a collection of children's interviews with people who experienced segregation and/or the events of the Civil Rights Movement. One woman, Ruth Jackson, talks about a kind of youth protest school she attended. They practiced protesting while others in their group pretended to be the white people harrassing, threatening and actually spitting on them. If you reacted at all, cried, fought back or anything, you weren't allowed to march. And you had to be neat and well dressed. All this so that when they did march they were absolutely above reproach. Nothing about their own behavior or dress could distract from their message. And all their white attackers could do was demonstrate their own bad behavior and vicious hate. (By the way, Ruth Jackson was only in the eighth grade at the time. Unbelievable!)

I've talked before about my respect for non-violence and the courage of people like Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr. and countless others throughout history who have put this difficult teaching of Jesus' into practice. But as I read this woman's story a different application for non-violence came to mind. It can be summed up in Gandhi's statement: "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

Basically what has become a burden on my heart is that those of us who want to reform the Church, or have rightly criticized the Church for their harsh treatment, and lack of understanding have the extra responsibility of actually not being harsh back to them. We can't criticize them for their closed minds and harsh words if all we do is return fire. We must turn the other cheek to their agression and move forward boldly above reproach. The higher the standard of respect and dialogue that we reflect in our lives will only serve to expose the lack of respect and dialogue in their lives. The result being that those who we truly wish to change (the everyday people of the world and Church) will see our good works and praise our Father in Heaven.

This high road often sucks, it might mean getting slandered, verbally abused and attacked, but that is the example of Jesus. As we seek to criticize those who hold the Church in their power, we must be careful not to move from healthy critical dialogue to overly harsh attacks. Trying to keep tax collectors, whores and just general sinners as friends, we must choose our battles wisely and take the high road as often as possible.

Did Jesus rebuke people? Sure, usually the leaders of the Pharisees for not obeying their own commandments. They were the ones in control, the ones giving people the heavy burdens while they raked in the cash and the social and political power.

Based on Jesus' example, I think there is a place for harsh criticism of those doing damage. But we need to save our "attacks" for the global leaders that hold sway, the people that line their pockets with money and power while sending the Church in damaging directions. We shouldn't be judgmental of local pastors, worship leaders and congregations who are being swayed by global leaders. Rather we should be working with them, encouraging and persuading in respectful dialogue.

I don't think anything can change without dialogue. Very few people in today's culture are going to be won over by a ranting monologue. Everyone wants to be listened to. Being yelled at or verbally smacked across the face doesn't feel good. Christianity is about healthy relationships (with God and other people) and good relationships are give and take. No one wants to be involved in a relationship where they are never listened to, let alone consistently mocked and belittled.

Sarcasm and insults don't win people over--it only cements their point of view. And who can blame them?

A New Family Member!?!

Yes, you may not have known that we were expecting, but a new bundle of joy has entered our house. His name is Mr. Spot. He's a rat, and I have to say he's pretty darn cute. He really belongs to my friend Jessica, but she's on a trip to California to visit her husband in Santa Barbara, and we have the honor of rat sitting.

We first met Mr. Spot when we went over to Jessica's house for dinner. The girls played with him so much that, when Jessica took him out after we left so he could get some exercise, he curled up on her lap and went to sleep instead. It was that fateful night that he received his name; Mr. Spot was Moira's idea. I think Evie's idea was "rat."

So Jessica thought it would be a good idea for our girls to help keep an eye on him while she was gone. And they were excited to do it. All week, all we heard was, "We're getting to watch Mr. Spot! Is today when Mr. Spot's coming?" We're going over to a small group meeting for church tonight and Moira will get to see a good friend of her's (who happens to also have a room packed floor to ceiling with dolls). Is she excited to go to her friend's house? Yes....BUT....when she woke up this morning and asked if we knew what today was, it was NOT the day she gets to see her friend Jenny, no it's the day Mr. Spot is coming.

So we have a rat for 5 days (until Sunday) and hopefully this doesn't cause a rat craze leading to a rat of our own. Personally, between my dog and my daughters constantly popping their heads up by the cage to see our visitor, I'd be surprised if we didn't take at least one year off the poor guy's life. It's sad, but I don't know if our home is fit for rats.

And, Jessica, if you're reading this right now...I'm sorry, really sorry.

Because One Is Never Enough

I've started another blog. Not because I have more to say but because I'm greedy.

Actually, I found that I do have more to say and it doesn't really fit this format. To remedy this I've started Observant Theology, a blog that goes a step deeper than this one. (Maybe two or three steps deeper than this one.) It's a little more formal, a little more detailed, a little more . . . I don't know; it's just more.

So if you find my somewhat religious posts somewhat boring, then this new blog probably isn't for you. (But, of course you should still read it.) And if you find my somewhat religious posts somewhat interesting and you'd like to hear more, then this is definitely something to check out.

The first post is up as a little intro and I'll be following that with more in depth discussions of some of my previous posts here. And whoever is the first to check it out and leave a comment gets a free toaster.

I've Been Bitten

I have officially been bitten by a bug... the emergent church bug. I feel like I've been an ostrich with his head in the sand and perhaps have wasted too much time. Oh well, must keep moving forward.

I just finished reading Brian McLaren's A Generous Orthodoxy and all I can say is....WOW. It is sort of an affirmation of most everything I have recently wanted to believe, but was too afraid to really say so . . . Afraid of another excommunication and all that.

A little less than a year ago our family left a church that we had been involved in deeply for about 10 years. Some really good and healing things happened there, but in the end it became destructive for us. It was better for everyone involved that we left, and it was very emotional for reasons that won't be delved into here. But you can imagine having to leave behind the only relationships you've had (outside your family) for the past ten years and the life change that throws you into. It was very difficult, but now it's done and Jaime and I both feel so much better for everything we've gone through. We're hoping now to move on with the new relationships we're building and the old we're rebuilding (insert apologies here for completely alienating our families.)

Needless to say everything feels new and we've felt free to relax and explore new ways of thinking and living; to explore things that we'd always felt were right but weren't free to talk about or really live.

So recently I've been spending too much time at a blog called Tall Skinny Kiwi where he recently had a pretty strong rebuke for the Emergent Church in the US. This of course piqued my interest on top of other references this week to the whole thing (how's that for deliberately vague?) and I found their web site. Got my hands on the Generous Orthodoxy book and have been bit.

When I'm bitten by something, I get obsessed with it and have to learn everything I can about it, which means lots of Library books on my book shelf for way too long and Jaime getting mad at me. But fortunately for her, I've got two big projects coming up in school and probably won't have time to hit the libraries. Since our public library seems to be short on titles that the Emergent folks recommend, it will take some time to dig them up (I may just have to buy one or two, heaven forbid).

I'm still not ready to jump in with both my feet, though the pull is very strong. I'm still trying to figure out all the details. Anyway, check them out. Several links are on the left. Enjoy.

I'm In

Today I got my official letter from OSU saying that I have been accepted into the Near Eastern Languages and Cultures graduate school.

Yes, yes . . . I was irresistible. They took one look at my application and everybody was just falling all over themselves to accept me. I'm sure they're still sitting there stunned by my undergraduate achievements.

Okay, actually, I've been biting my nails for 2 weeks. It only got worse when they called and told me they needed an academic resume in 3 hours and they didn't see fit to tell me why--just that "it would be helpful." I was too busy panicking to press them for more information.

But here I am, holding my acceptance letter, now wondering how I'm going to pay for it. But I'm sure a genius like me can figure that out . . . somehow.

I Love Liturgy!

I feel like I should kinda' balance out the previous post on modern worship with how I feel about liturgy. Somehow in my mind liturgy is a seperate entity from hymns and what not, and I love liturgy, especially Jewish liturgy. There's just something about praying these thousand year old prayers, rich in theology and sincerity with only the hundred or so voices, no instruments. Everytime that I have gone to a synagogue, it has been hard to not get emotional at the ancient melodies, prayers and motions.

I can't really explain it concretely. I've tried several times, but there's something that feels.....right? assuring? comforting? ( None of those are quite it, but will have to do) about seeing and being apart of a room full of people, praising God in one of the oldest living languages that is spiritually overwhelming for me.

There's a time in these liturgies for everything: praising God, remembering commandments, challenging God on the state of affairs here on earth, asking for forgiveness, good health and peace. One of the experiences that most impacted me was hearing mourners say the Kadish (a special prayer for those in mourning). The synagogue silent but for a few voices praying. Not asking for anything but peace and still praising God. You can hear the pain in their voices, the melody the raw openness of it all still gets to me now thinking about it.

As much as I love modern worship music, there is something about liturgy. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever really come back to liking the hymns I grew up with. They bring back too many horrid memories...but liturgy (which I never experienced until I was an adult) I love. I pray different liturgical prayers throughout the day. I love the prayers in the Orthodox Jewish Siddur. I even steal some of the words for my own music.

So I guess maybe the best of both worlds for me would be a liturgical prayer set to rock music. Or maybe a cantor that raps . . . naaah, that's going too far.

The Hidden Costs of Elmer's Glue

I must preface this story by admitting--as my wife so kindly pointed out to me--that if I had just hung up my coat last night none of this would have happened. But instead I unknowingly laid it down right on top of our children's drying art work. And three year olds use a lot of glue.


So this morning--minutes before I need to leave to catch my bus--I found this


stuck to the sleeve of my coat. Not just stuck--really stuck. So stuck that removing it was also removing bits of my coat. So Jaime decided she would try to steam the glue loose. But while it's steaming the coat actually dipped into the water and, although the paper and glue is gone, some sort of sponge effect happened and now my coat is soaking wet from the elbow down.

The coat's made of something in between suede and regular leather and it's going to take a long time to dry. Meanwhile it's 25 degrees outside and I do a whole lot of walking in order to get to my classes, classes that I am now skipping because I don't think Greek is worth freezing to death over. Hebrew, now that's another story. So I'm sitting here hoping my coat will dry by 2:30 or desert winds blow in from the Sahara and get things above 32 degrees.

So the moral of this sad story is either:

1. Don't be a slob--hang up your coat.

or

2. Don't let your kids use Elmer's glue.

You decide but my vote's on 2.

I Like Modern Worship

There, I said it. I like a skillfully produced rock band to lead my worship.

Last night my church had a special praise and worship night and it was loud. It was really loud. It was so loud my three year old couldn't decide between covering her ears and raising her hands. (If you've never seen a three year old raising her hands in worship, you're missing out.) People were just free to worship the way they wanted. Some were sitting, some were standing, some were raising their hands, some were clapping. It was awesome. Just what I like.

The night would have sent my Grandmother, well, either one of my Grandmothers, into hysterics. And I understand that. Not everyone has the same tastes. What matters is if you're really there to praise God. If you prefer hymns, if that's what gets you into a worshipful mindset, cool. Not me though. I want the electric guitarist to peel into a rockin' solo after the second chorus before going into the bridge. I want the drummer on a full set of drums hitting them as hard as he can. I want a piano player that can play circles around Jerry Lee Lewis. And I want a worship leader who's there to worship God with all his might.

I think it's funny (sometimes offensive) when people talk about one genre of music as more inspired, respectful or just plain better for worship. When you look at the history of worship music, there was a time when gregorian chant with multiple parts was seen as scandalous and distracting, let alone an organ. Some hymns were set to old bar room songs because that's what the people knew and could relate to. People are going to worship in different ways because people are different.

So if you like accapella music, cool. If you like a full pipe organ, great. If a full orchestra playing through the old standard hymn book gets you in a worshipful mood, I'm all for it. But me, I want a rock and roll praise band and people in the audience standing up and singing at the top of their lungs while they clap or raise their hands. But, hey, that's just me.

It's Beautiful!!!

This week my landlord finally came through. Our new fridge has arrived.

For about a year and a half we've dealt with the ex-fridge. It was old, it was rusty, it was loud, the light socket wouldn't work and it dripped water all over any food too close to the back.

Now we have the uber fridge. It is clean, it is quiet, the light works, it does not drip and it is huge. Now we need more food because it looks too empty. During the winter Jaime doesn't like to go to the store. And when we do go to the store she doesn't want to be there for very long so we purchase about 3 items. This doesn't make sense because you then have to go out the next day and get more food thus creating more trips out into the cold. She resolves this issue by just sending me.

So I plan to buy a lot of perishable items and pack out my bright shiny miracle of modern science as soon as possible. I love refrigeration!

Yay For Links!

I spent some time last night figuring out how to put links on this template, and vioila! Links! Now I just need to figure out how to get the word all fancy like. More links coming soon, but now, I've got to go study some Greek.

Charlton Heston Was On My Exam

The last post is not the best thing in the world to leave up for so long, but I've been too busy to worry about it. Graduate School applications, Fellowship applications, Teaching Associate applications, job applications and midterms.

Ah, the joys of midterms. In my history of Hebrew class we had a take home exam. When I found this out at the beginning of the quarter, I was pretty excited. What could be easier than a take home exam? Then I saw the first question. Here are the exact instructions:

Exhaust me by thoroughly discussing everything you know about the following words:

Let me just say there is nothing more nerve wracking than that kind of open ended question on an exam. If I'm exhausted by writing the essay, does that mean that the professor will be exhausted when he reads it? If you've never met this man, he's the kind of guy that couldn't be exhausted by anything. I haven't found one thing he's not excited about. This means that he's really great to be around, but it also means that if he's using his exhaustion to gauge the quality of those essays, I just hope he's reading them at 3 am . . . on a treadmill.

And, once again, I get to lament my geekiness, because although the exam took all weekend to complete, I actually ended up enjoying it.

My favorite part--analyzing the Hebrew on the stone tablets for the movie, The Ten Commandments. Yes, that is real Hebrew. Charlton Heston--who incidentally played every ancient Jewish character in the movies of the 1960's--was actually carrying fake stone tablets with authentic ancient Hebrew on it. Well, not that authentic--the script was a few hundred years off. Fools.

Being Old Can Kill You

This morning I heard this news blurb on NPR. Yes, NPR that bastion of intelligent journalism.

"Al Lewis best known for his portrayal of Grandpa in the television show the Munsters has died. He was 95. No cause of death has been reported."

No cause of death has been reported. Hello!! He was 95--swallowing too hard could have been the cause of death. Actually, when you get that old there's just one cause of death--old age. Even if you get hit by a truck--the cause--old age, couldn't get out of the way fast enough.

Old age is deadly and the sooner the news media recognizes this, well, I don't know what will happen, but at least I won't be wasting my time ranting about it.

Prayer

Why do we pray? What are we really hoping to accomplish? If we believe in the Calvinist Predestination Theology, prayer is illogical.

I grew up in that tradition and was often told that since you don't know what God has predestined you should still pray. But if it's predestined then it doesn't matter except that God possibly predestined you to pray for that thing so that He could give it to you, etc, etc, this goes on and on and logically is impossible to reconcile.

Others from that tradition taught me that prayer is not there to change God, but to change you. To put you in the right will and mindset of God. To humble you, to remind you that you need Him and that you can do nothing without God.

But all of this doesn't match up with the Bible. For instance James 5:16 tells us that "the effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much." The prayer is effective i.e it does something. It's not about my state of mind, it's about gettin' the job done. Jesus tells the story of a woman who harrasses a judge until he rules in her favor, and says that God is the same way. If we are persistent God might actually rule in our favor.

This is also a common theme in the Hebrew Bible. God listens to people and lets them have their input and at times He even changes His mind and does what they've suggested. Abraham talks God down from 50 people to 10 people as the condition for saving Sodom and Gomorrah. Moses calms God down before He wipes out the Israelites when they make the Golden Calf. Amos 7 contains a nice dialogue between God and Amos with God throwing out options for punishing Israel and Amos basically shooting down the ideas of the Most High. In the end God takes Amos' reasoning to heart but promises that Israel will be punished in some way.

In all these situations there is no hint of God playing the psychologist. He's not toying with people in order to bring them to some deeper self realization. He actually values human opinion and desires. God wants to know what we think. He says He will listen to us and might actually do what we ask of Him. There's not a script that God will not deviate from.

Too often, I feel like we don't allow ourselves to really converse with God--not in the modern "Let's chat 'cause God is my best buddy" scenario but more father to child. The prophets and God have conversations all the time. Loving parents really want to know what their kids think and want and act accordingly. God is that same way. That's why people should pray because it really can do something.

The idea of effective prayer is partly why I don't believe in predestination. This engaged, loving, open to options God that is portrayed in the Bible is the antithesis of the God who would predestine some to Hell and some to Heaven. It is why I believe what I do about time and God's Omnicience. I think this depiction of God is not only more accurate to what we see in the Bible but is also a better depiction of a perfect God. (More on that later).

Oh The Places You'll Go!

Being a starving student trying to support a family of four on grants, scholarships and school loans means that sometimes you just can't travel. Okay always you just can't travel. The car is in good enough shape to take you around town but that's about it. At the end of every quarter, you start wondering where all the money went and if you'll be able to pay rent on time (so far so good!). Which means that while you may want to take the family to visit India, Australia, Europe heck even Canada it just can't be done.

But my family doesn't complain about not being able to travel. No, we travel vicariously....Through travel shows. It's true I don't have a TV, but I can play DVD's on my computer and we have become hooked on this series called Globe Trekker. With the aid and expertise of professional travelers we have seen the world! Heck, now I don't need to go to India and suffer from Dehli Belly! My friend Megan did it for me! Want to be bored in the "fabulous" wine country of France? Don't bother, Justine's been there and she'll tell you all about it! Why mess with the hot sticky deserts (not to mention all that poisonous stuff) of Australia's outback when Ian and friends have experienced it for you, and you don't have to leave the comfort of your own home.

Really, it's better than actually being there! It's cheaper (you can get it for free from your local library), you don't have to worry about plane crashes, custom officials and spending way too much money for cheap touristy gifts for your friends and family! Yes, I'd say it's the way to go! The travel of the future!....Really!....Okay, I'm lying I'd much rather be there, but hey I can't yet, so this will have to do!

So here's a little intro to our favorite trekkers. They've become like members of our family all due to my inadequacy as a bread winner.


Ian Wright: With his cockney accent, willingness to do anything and love of harrasing strangers he's one entertaining chap.

Favorite Moment: Australia: When he pats the stomach (for just a little too long to be okay) of the Outback Ranger who took away his fruit contraband.

Quote: "I wish I had a lava burn mark on my arm to boast about in the pub."



Justine Shapiro: She has raised grumbling to an art form. And sometimes the crass things that come out of her mouth are amazing. She doesn't mock someone in every episode, but when she does it's quite a treat.

Favorite Moment: Turkey: When she's about to take a drink from a bucket full of fresh sheep's milk and realizes it has poo in it. "MMMmmmMMM"

Quote: "I'VE LANDED!" (Cheerfully jumping on one of the D-Day beaches in Normandy, France.)




Megan McCormick: The consummate traveler--a real professional. Never whines, always enthusiastic--perhaps too perky at times but that's usually when the show gives her enough money to sleep somewhere without cockroaches--so who can blame her.

Favorite Moment: Beijing: When she tours a warehouse full of art and asks the artist why all his characters are always smiling. "....Because they're happy."

Quote: "I promise I won't look up your kilt."

"Hey You Poor Hungry People of the World--Pluto is Important!!!!!"

NASA's top climate scientist says the Bush administration is trying to censure him after he gave a lecture which included a call to use available technology to reduce greenhouse gases and stop global warming before it's too late.

I'm sure he's right, but that's not the point. The point is--what the heck did NASA ever do for the environment? They send up enormous shuttles using fuel tanks bigger than my neighborhood, they toss space trash while they're up there and they spend massive amounts of money on absolutely nothing!!!

Take Pluto for example. Someone got this bright idea--"Pluto is important. Let's explore Pluto. Let's spend 700 MILLION dollars exploring Pluto!" And other people who like to spend other people's money said "That is a great idea. We especially like the 700 million dollar part!"

Yet we have this global warming problem--not a problem, but according to NASA, a crisis! And, according to NASA, the Bush administration should do something about it! I know! How about canceling the Pluto project and spending 700 million dollars buying people hybrid cars? Or we could spend 700 million dollars making other "available energy saving technologies" actually available to the average person. Or maybe we could just spend 700 million dollars making the world we have a better place to live in. We could feed the hungry, educate the poor, create jobs and homes for the homeless... I could find 700 million better ways to spend 700 million dollars. Heck, even buying the world a coke is a better idea than exploring Pluto!

To get a different perspective on this I talked to my seven year old. She has spent hours reading about space, space missions, space stations. She wants to go to space camp when she's old enough. She's gone on fake missions on the NASA website, she knows what to do if she needs to bail out of a spacecraft during takeoff or re-entry, she knows how to find water in the desert in case that's where she lands, she knows all the stuff the astronauts have in those orange suits AND YET this is how the conversation went.

Me-- "Moira, they're spending 700 million dollars to send this probe thing way out into space to study Pluto. Isn't that cool?"

Moira--"Why? It's just Pluto. They haven't even decided if it's a planet yet."

Out of the mouths of babes . . .

Dilemma

I attend a rather main stream evangelical church. It's Wesleyan, which I like because of its emphasis on free will and other stuff. That being said there's so much that I believe from my studies in Judaism and the Bible that I know they wouldn't agree with yet. But I love the people there. They're so friendly and open and have that simple faith in God, that I wish I had sometimes, but seems to be impossible to get the more I study and learn.

Anyway, because of this, I find myself increasingly in conversations where the person is talking about something that I totally disagree with, and I find myself with a dilemma. Do I say something or not? By saying nothing, the person assumes I agree with them, but by saying something I risk hurting the person I'm talking to, or even talking over their head on something that is to me trivial, but to them very important. If I value their friendship, shouldn't I be completely honest with them? By not saying anything I feel like I'm lying to them by not being who I truly am. How do I be completely honest with them and not "blow them away"?

*sigh* I really have to figure this out if I'm going to be effective in what I want to do in life. I'll be in these positions for the rest of my life, so I can't run from them. I need some wisdom here folks! Please Help!

God's Omniscience and Time

Okay, this is going to get pretty abstract here, but hopefully not too dull. Anyone who knows me and has gotten into any kind of conversation on religion with me, knows that I'm a big fan of Freewill. It's one of the cornerstones of how I view life, Christianity, etc. There's a problem with Freewill though. If God knows everything, then he knows what you're going to do, so do you really have Freewill?

Those of the Reform movement (Calvinism, Lutheran, etc) just flat out say no. For them, God set out from the beginning everything that was ever going to happen. You're in or you're out based on divine fiat. Sorry! Nothing you can do. I have several things against this idea.

1. It's flat out unbiblical. If you look at the Hebrew Bible (aka Old Testament) you just don't get that picture at all.
2. By limiting our ability to choose, you also limit God's ability to choose. That is to say, if God pre-ordained everything from the very beginning, He can't change His mind even if He wants to. This also works backwards. If God can change His mind (and I think the Hebrew Bible shows that He can and does) then there cannot be anything really pre-ordained (i.e. you can have a choice.)

Other people then try to figure out how God is related to space and time in order to be Omniscient and allow for some sort of Freewill. I think the problem for them, and really everybody else too, is that they usually are playing around with God in relation to time and not playing around with our concept of time. If given the option of letting God be constant or time be constant, personally, I'm gonna chose God and see if I can manipulate my understanding of time to what the Bible expresses.

The standard concept of time in most Christian circles is perfectly linear. A straight line with a definitive beginning and end. From this understanding of time, of course everything is predetermined. But what if we change our perspective on time. Imagine not a perfectly straight line but say a Tournament bracket (You know like the March Madness thing that comes out every year). Only imagine the beginning of time being the finals of the bracket (one team left), and move towards the beginning of the brackets. Each division is another decision, each decision leads to more decisions.

Even this is too simple for my tastes, but you get the point. Suddenly time becomes much more complex. From this vantage point, God's Omniscience doesn't mean that he knows everything that's going to happen, instead it means that God knows everything that could possibly happen. God too suddenly becomes more complex.

Which God is more all knowing? (If such a thing can exist) The God who has set everything fixed from all time or the God who sees every single possible outcome? I'd say the second one. The second view also allows man to have free will and allows God to step in and direct things down a certain path, if He wants. There are other implications to this point of view, but it would take all day and a book to discuss them, and I'll probably get to them at some other point in time.

What the . . .?!?

Today we had a surreal family experience. There was shock, terror, surprise, revulsion, and elation all in the span of about 30 seconds.

I had just walked in the door and I see Jaime reading to the kids on the couch. Suddenly Moira lets out a gasp. Everyone turns to see her looking up with a horrified expression. Following her gaze we see, hovering in the air, a meaty looking spider slowly lowering itself from the ceiling-- directly above Jaime. Now everyone else gasps and we have one of those time-is-frozen moments where no one moves even though we really want to. Then Evie screams.

That's when Jaime comes to her senses and checks the thing out to make sure it's no Brown Recluse--that wife of mine is always thinkin'. Spider's safe so she grabs the spider silk and begins to escort the evil thing somewhere away from our precious children.

That's when things got really weird.

There was my wife holding an invisible thread, there was the spider swinging through the air, there was my dog, Stella, watching everything and then GULP! no more spider. One crunchy doggy snack.

On one hand we were glad the spider was no longer there and yet . . . that was gross. We didn't know whether to puke or congratulate her.

It was just one of those moments you walk away from shaking your head.

Just thought I'd share.

Ode to Jaime

I was talking to a friend of mine at work yesterday about love and marriage and kids and all that kinda' stuff, and I've been thinking about our conversation since then. One thing occurs to me, and, if you know me, you know I always say this, but I love my wife. We've been married for over 10 years now (for those of you doing the quick math that means I was 19 and she was 18) and every year I become more grateful for her.

Over the last 3 years I have put her probably through some of the hardest stuff we've ever gone through. 3 years ago, I was working for Bank One (now Chase) one of the largest banks in the U.S. making fairly descent money. Now I'm a student finishing up my undergrad at Ohio State....that is to say broke. But she doesn't complain (unless something happens that just emphasizes how broke we are). The other day she actually said she liked what we have going right now.

Last year we left this really small church (read 18 members) that we'd been attending for like 9 years, which was really hard and painful especially for her. She could've said, "That's it! No more!" but she didn't she stuck it out with me, and I couldn't be happier.

Part of why I love her, is that she is content to stay at home and be with our two kids, Moira and Evie. This means she home schools Moira (she's 7; Evie's 3 so she's in that Pre-school stage), tries to keep the house in some sort of order and cooks our food...she's just great! And she loves it! I tell her all the time, she can get a degree if she wants, go back to school like I did, do something else, but she loves what she's doing now (most of the time, anyway) and just laughs at me.


Also the whole Multicultural feel to our house is all about her. She's befriended a Hindi family with two great kids and a Bengali family with a household of ornery kids and hangs out with them. Can they speak English...a little bit, but Jaime is determined to teach it to them, and they want to learn. She tutors their kids in their homework, makes important English based phone calls for them. She loves them so much, it constantly reminds me how much I need to up the ante in that realm for myself.

Well, I've got to get going now. But here's a toast to my wife Jaime, "Thanks for being around for 10 years and here's to many more!" Sorry for feeling all mushy this morning.

Don't Go without the Jo

I have been such an idiot today. It's been one of those days that starts out kinda' down and then only gets worse. I was going to go to campus a bit earlier today, to talk to one of my professors about grad school and one of the classes I'm taking. This means that I have to get up early so I can catch the 7:30am bus to get to campus by 8:30.

I of course over sleep while my wife is out walking with our neighbor. My oldest daughter wakes me up at 7:18. (I know it's sad that my daughter is up before me, but, hey I tend to be a night owl. Honestly so does she, so I'm not sure what she was doing awake that early anyway.) So it's one of those running around with my head cut off mornings. When I get to campus to talk to my professor, I realize that I've left everything that I wanted to talk to him about at home. AAARRGGHH!

Oh well, I think, I can call my wife to get the syllabus so I can get a book I need for a report in that class from the great OSU Library. I must say that the OSU library is really quite good. Only a few times have I not been able to find what I needed there. Usually when I have problems I'm looking for the English translation of an article written in German and they have the German article and the Hebrew article, but not the English. But today, I'm looking for a text that was written in English, they should have it right? Wrong! I think, well maybe I can get it on Amazon or something. I sure can, if I want to pay $227.05. $227.05! That is not a typo! See!

Scratch that idea. I try to order it from an inter-library loan, but I really need it earlier than they can get it to me and I can only get it for 28 days. It occurs to me that there are several seminaries in the great town of Columbus, OH that just might carry this book. I look them up and viola! I can get it tonight and renew as often as I need it. Slight problem, though, I owe them $10 because I'm a slacker in returning things...the price I pay for convenience!

Now I'm nearly late for my 9:30 class. Yes, I spent a whole hour trying to find this book and now I've missed the office hours with my Rabbinics professor and I'm late for my class on the Prophets. Actually, I get to the Prophets class right on time. But everytime I get called on to answer a question, I totally cannot remember a darn thing! And this is an undergraduate course being taught by the man who will determine if I get to teach these courses next year in graduate school. Not looking good.

Bell rings, and I'm off to Greek! It's all good, I did the homework on the bus this morning, I'm feeling good about everything we've covered. I volunteer to do the first translation.... And then I get The Face. The Face says your close, but wrong (at least it wasn't the Where-The-Heck-Did-You-Get-That-From Face; which is the face I got in the previous class.) The short of it is that I got close to the right translation for all of the sentences but not exactly. Good enough for now.

Bell rings, off to Hebrew! This is taught by the same professor from this morning's Prophets class. At least here, I get some things right, but mostly....I'm strugling. I can't even remember that it was Titus who sacked Jerusalem in 70 CE (ala the Arch of Titus; basic 101 of Jewish History here) no...I say Timothy. Close, you know Titus is also a name of a book in the New Testament like Timothy, but close doesn't count here. This is a Graduate level course. I suck...

Bell rings...who cares? I go to work. I'm thinking to myself...what the heck is wrong with me today? Suddenly, I remember...dude, you got up way freakin' early and you didn't have time to get any coffee all day! I walk to work make a fresh pot of coffee (which I am currently sipping delightedly), and I am now reflecting on the deep, deep connection that has just occured to me:

If you have to choose between being late and drinking coffee or being on time and being idiot....my friend, drink the coffee.